


Ducks and Mayhem

by zombiegardener



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: Crack Fic, I Don't Even Know, M/M, i was stressed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 02:30:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8126954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombiegardener/pseuds/zombiegardener
Summary: Ty has a bad day. Ducks may have been responsible, because ducks are evil.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The name is silly, but this has been "untitled ficlet" for like 2 years and I thought maybe I should name the poor thing something. Honestly, I wrote this on a lunch break because I was super stressed, so I gave myself a 2 page 15 minute limit and got this. I'd forgotten it existed until suddenly it started to be reposted on Tumblr.

Special Agent Ty Grady stood on the top step in the pouring rain and stared at his door, wondering if it would be childish to try and kick it open. Probably, he decided, shoving soaking wet hair back from his face with one dirty hand, but it would be so _satisfying_. The crack of the wood. The percussion as the door jam shattered. The thud as he fell down the steps on his ass. The cursing as he spent the weekend repairing the broken door. 

Okay, then. So that would be a no. What’s more, it was proof that, contrary to popular opinion, he was perfectly capable of assessing the potential consequences of his actions.

Giving in the inevitable, he shoved the door open- using more force than necessary, because fuck his life anyway- and braced himself.

The kitchen was bright and warm. His lover, standing at the counter and pulling boxes out of a take out bag, turned around to look at him as he slammed the door shut behind him. To Zane’s credit, he wasn’t outright smiling, although his jaw was clenched with the effort and his dark eyes were dancing with suppressed laughter. It was a good look on him, one that normally Ty would have taken the time to appreciate. Tonight, though, it kinda made him want to throw something. Or possibly go back outside and kick the damn door. 

Instead he growled wordlessly and dropped his keys into the bowl on the counter, then leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms. 

“So.”

Ty held up one warning finger as he glared at Zane. “Don’t.”

“Ty.”

The finger shook. “Not one fucking word.”

Zane regarded him gravely even as his eyes started to crinkle at the corners. Ty had to give him points for the effort. 

“Fine.” He turned back to the counter and reached for plates. “Hungry?” There was a slight tremor in his voice, and Ty regarded the boxes warily.

“Chinese?”

“Mmm.” 

Well, that was suspiciously noncommittal. Ty pushed off from the door and drifted closer, trying to decide if he should admit he was hungry. It smelled awesome. “What’d you get?”

“Peking duck.” 

Ty stopped in his tracks as that processed. That was a low blow, even for Zane. “You’re dead to me.”

Zane finally dissolved in laughter, leaning over the counter to hold himself upright, completely oblivious to the wounded expression on Ty’s face. Ty rolled his eyes and stalked over to the stairs, deciding dinner wasn’t worth the effort.

“Oh, come on, baby, don’t be like that.”

Ty stopped but didn’t turn around. “Zane.”

“No, wait. I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re not.” Zane was still sounding way too pleased with himself. “It was on the news, Zane!”

“Of course it was. Reporters love ducks.” 

The last bit came out choked, and Ty fought the urge to scream. Instead he risked a glance back over his shoulder to see Zane sitting on the floor, elbows resting on pulled-up knees, openly grinning. He looked adorable. And dry. And warm. The smug bastard. Ty turned and stomped up the stairs, shedding his soaked coat and tie as he went. “It’s not funny,” he called back as he viciously yanked his shirt hem out of his trousers, ignoring the sound as the soft fabric ripped. It’s not like it would ever be white again anyway. “If that truck hadn’t backfired and sounded exactly like a gun…” He sighed and stared at the wall. “It could have happened to anybody!” And now he sounded pathetic. Great.

“I know.” Warm hands suddenly slid around his waist and coaxed up the edge of the ruined shirt that stuck to his frame like a second skin. “Let me make it up to you.”

Ty leaned back into his lover’s warm, hard body, but didn’t completely relax. “How?”

“There’s water down the hall that’s warm and completely duck free. I’m sure I can think of something.”

“You’re a dick, you know that?” He felt Zane draw a breath and held up a hand in warning. “And if you turn that into a pun, so help me God, you’re sleeping alone for the next month.”

“Noted."   
Ty decided to overlook the lingering laughter in Zane’s voice as he let himself be tugged down the hall towards the shower. It wasn’t worth the effort to stay mad, and Zane made it damned hard when he was all playful like this.  
Besides, even if he’d never admit it out loud, it had been pretty funny.


End file.
